Hard choice!Mix feeling!

I did have a wonderful day if i didn't get to know about the USM list and whats make me feel even down is I didn't even get the offer..I mean i have no high demand on what i want to study and perhaps i don't want to burden my family with the high cost that i need to pay for IMU...Yea I can loan but is not that cheap to study in private..When you actually make up your mind to go to IMU and your mum said"girl,be confident with yourself,why not wait for USM?"..My mum gives me the hope and is forever a hope that never become reality.Waiting for UPU?how many times did people actually tell me to be confident with myself and belive in miracles?Guys i don't even have confident in myself,i even have hard time to accept my STPM result...but what can i do besides saying i am really fine?All this while my result was good and perhaps it actually make me feel really dissapointed for choosing STPM but i have no chance to regret than to move on with life..I really don't know which way to choose...Standing in the juction and looking ahead for the road to choose..the road not taken or just accept what you being offered..Perhaps i should give myself another chance,and trying to believe there is miracles